Desert Notes September 1, 2023
This Sunday, we got word that my father in law had died. He was in hospice with cancer and had suffered a couple of strokes. We knew his time with us was short. We are sorry to lose him. Chuck was a man with a big heart – he took folks in when they were down on their luck, provided housing and food and respite. He helped watch his autistic grandson whose disability prevents him from many regular activities and life opportunities. Like most of us, he made his share of mistakes, some of which hurt other people. Although we had little in common politically or personally, we shared a value for family loyalty (not above honesty, and not at the cost of anyone’s safety). Chuck was always 100% clear that he loved us and he made no demands for us to change, no judgements about how we partnered, parented, or pursued our life goals. When Sol came out, he struggled with pronouns but never argued about them or made comments about them. He never “dead-named” Sol – he was consistent in using Sol’s chosen name. This is the true example of “we need not think alike to love alike.” When Chuck came to our house he let us be who we are–and never made us feel like we should be anything else. I will always be grateful for this, and he will be dearly missed. May each of you be blessed by love that holds you with respect and honor.